Yatdotquim is a god.

He takes the form of a small, selfish horse.

Yatdotquim created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Yatdotquim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yatdotquim, he will boil you in a big pot.

Yatdotquim's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yatdotquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Never paint your legs gray.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not sing in public.