Sogpopgov is a god.

It takes the form of a large, temperamental toad.

Sogpopgov created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sogpopgov, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sogpopgov, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Sogpopgov's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Sogpopgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near otters while wearing pink shoes and balancing eight platinum spheres on your face.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.