Queeggompang is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, egotistical tortoise.

Queeggompang created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queeggompang, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Queeggompang, he will ignore you.

Queeggompang's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Queeggompang's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Queeggompang.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about asteroids.