Megvogyar is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, caring giraffe.

Megvogyar created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Megvogyar, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Megvogyar, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Megvogyar's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Megvogyar's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Snails are not to be trusted.

3. Do not take Megvogyar's name in vain.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never feed lots of coconuts to nematodes while wearing green ear rings.