Bidjankin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, merciless guinea pig.

Bidjankin created humankind two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidjankin, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bidjankin, it will think nothing of it.

Bidjankin's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bidjankin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near voles while wearing red rings and balancing five carbon spheres on your hands.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.