Withitfig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, fussy penguin.

Withitfig created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Withitfig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Withitfig, he will make you grow a tail.

Withitfig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Withitfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always pray immersed in water.