Bempopyat is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, narcissistic dryad.

Bempopyat created the planet Mars eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bempopyat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bempopyat, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bempopyat's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bempopyat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never paint your hands white.

4. Do not hurt manatees.

5. Worship no other gods but Bempopyat.