Flapsigfab is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, slow dugong.

Flapsigfab created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapsigfab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flapsigfab, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flapsigfab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Flapsigfab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.