Garhabbun is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, dishonourable parrot.

Garhabbun created Asia nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garhabbun, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Garhabbun, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Garhabbun's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Garhabbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near capybaras.

2. Never feed cucumbers to whales while wearing tights.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Do not shave your hands.