Jipbettitbop is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, loving mink.

Jipbettitbop created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipbettitbop, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jipbettitbop, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Jipbettitbop's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Jipbettitbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near porpoises while wearing red jumpers and balancing nine titanium spheres on your back.

2. Never feed lots of wheat to birds while wearing indigo tights.

3. Do not take Jipbettitbop's name in vain.

4. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.