Tifjondiss is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, temperamental gnu.

Tifjondiss created the world nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifjondiss, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tifjondiss, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tifjondiss' most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tifjondiss' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Tifjondiss.

3. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

4. Never paint your neck cyan.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.