Zakditdodyartvagjab is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, thoughtless alligator.

Zakditdodyartvagjab created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakditdodyartvagjab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zakditdodyartvagjab, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zakditdodyartvagjab's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Zakditdodyartvagjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never run in the presence of capybaras.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about fire.