Milzogrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, proud octopus.

Milzogrutt created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Milzogrutt, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Milzogrutt, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Milzogrutt's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Milzogrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about ultrasonics.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Run away from mauve manatees, for they are unholy.