Yikrillmab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain guinea pig.

Yikrillmab created the planet Jupiter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikrillmab, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yikrillmab, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yikrillmab's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Yikrillmab's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never run in the presence of shrews.

4. Never feed pineapples to ducks while wearing turquoise shoes.

5. Never eat bark.