Arfgadjiparplatdit is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, sapient lion.

Arfgadjiparplatdit created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfgadjiparplatdit, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Arfgadjiparplatdit, he will turn you into a frog.

Arfgadjiparplatdit's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Arfgadjiparplatdit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Arfgadjiparplatdit on top of important buildings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not speak about lentils.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near grasshopers while wearing red trousers.