Jatbumbin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awe-inspiring capybara.

Jatbumbin created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatbumbin, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jatbumbin, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jatbumbin's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Jatbumbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not commit murder.