Mapfumvegtan is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, vain dolphin.

Mapfumvegtan created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapfumvegtan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mapfumvegtan, she will ignore you.

Mapfumvegtan's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Mapfumvegtan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ducks.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about nematodes.