Lamsaftal is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, egotistical fairy.

Lamsaftal created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamsaftal, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lamsaftal, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lamsaftal's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Lamsaftal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lamsaftal.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.