Gessgovcar is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, confident crane.

Gessgovcar created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessgovcar, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gessgovcar, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gessgovcar's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Gessgovcar's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never wear turquoise boots.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near eagles while wearing indigo scarves and balancing three silicon spheres on your head.