Quatgovarp is a god.

She takes the form of a large, thoughtless slug.

Quatgovarp created a charm quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quatgovarp, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Quatgovarp, she will turn you into a hamster.

Quatgovarp's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Quatgovarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Do not kill monkeys.