Abxucdap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, passionate crab.

Abxucdap created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Abxucdap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Abxucdap, it will send you a sign.

Abxucdap's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Abxucdap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing white skirts and balancing eight titanium spheres on your neck.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.