Metstipbam Bunmilrigzedhamcat Gebrigwee is a god.

He takes the form of a small, all-powerful manatee.

Metstipbam Bunmilrigzedhamcat Gebrigwee created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Metstipbam Bunmilrigzedhamcat Gebrigwee, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Metstipbam Bunmilrigzedhamcat Gebrigwee, he will turn you into a rock.

Metstipbam Bunmilrigzedhamcat Gebrigwee's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Metstipbam Bunmilrigzedhamcat Gebrigwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven tortoises in a large pit.

2. Never talk about dark energy near snails while wearing mauve rings.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Metstipbam Bunmilrigzedhamcat Gebrigwee in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always help badgers.

5. Never talk about dark matter.