Zedbabstaf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous hummingbird.

Zedbabstaf created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedbabstaf, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zedbabstaf, she will turn you into a rat.

Zedbabstaf's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Zedbabstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Zedbabstaf on top of all buildings.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

5. Never look in ponds.