Flamdamvab is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, selfish otter.

Flamdamvab created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamdamvab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Flamdamvab, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flamdamvab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Flamdamvab's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always look after injured eagles.

3. Never think ill of sick horses.

4. Never feed lots of nuts to capybaras while wearing indigo tights.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flamdamvab.