Vonkvedvil is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonourable warg.

Vonkvedvil created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkvedvil, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vonkvedvil, she will turn you into a puffin.

Vonkvedvil's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Vonkvedvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to sharks while wearing tights.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vonkvedvil.