Appvagpark is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, wise centipede.

Appvagpark created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appvagpark, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Appvagpark, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Appvagpark's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Appvagpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about pigs.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Dogs are not to be trusted.

5. Always wear orange.