Yarpbuntif is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sapient dove.

Yarpbuntif created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbuntif, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarpbuntif, he will destroy your favourite star.

Yarpbuntif's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Yarpbuntif's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to nematodes while wearing cyan shirts.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Run away from mauve dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never bounce near turtles.