Flatjopkim is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, passionate goat.

Flatjopkim created the planet Mars nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatjopkim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flatjopkim, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flatjopkim's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Flatjopkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Do not take Flatjopkim's name in vain.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Flatjopkim on top of all buildings.

4. Do not hurt gulls.

5. Always stare at clouds.