Dunquimsas is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, able salamander.

Dunquimsas created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunquimsas, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dunquimsas, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dunquimsas' most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Dunquimsas' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Dunquimsas on top of all buildings.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never sit near gulls.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not take Dunquimsas' name in vain.