Bogappquim Sagbunlim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, competent seal.

Bogappquim Sagbunlim created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Bogappquim Sagbunlim, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bogappquim Sagbunlim, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bogappquim Sagbunlim's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bogappquim Sagbunlim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Bogappquim Sagbunlim on top of all buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bogappquim Sagbunlim.