Camquamxem is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, quiet capybara.

Camquamxem created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Camquamxem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Camquamxem, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Camquamxem's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Camquamxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to tapirs while wearing dresses.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always treat snails with great respect.

4. Erect a giant black sculpture of Camquamxem in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.