Bogganbad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, weak beaver.

Bogganbad created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bogganbad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bogganbad, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bogganbad's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bogganbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never think about dark matter near aardvarks while wearing purple ear rings and balancing seven gold spheres on your hands.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.