Xemton is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish tortoise.

Xemton created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Xemton, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xemton, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Xemton's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Xemton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Xemton on top of all buildings.

5. Always wear turquoise.
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