Govmumton Yartyiknurt Rownur is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, staggering gerbil.

Govmumton Yartyiknurt Rownur created water four years ago.

If you believe in Govmumton Yartyiknurt Rownur, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Govmumton Yartyiknurt Rownur, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Govmumton Yartyiknurt Rownur's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Govmumton Yartyiknurt Rownur's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to sheep while wearing red tights.

2. You must pray to Govmumton Yartyiknurt Rownur three times a day.

3. Snails are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Do not stand on grass.