Wikcanken is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, omniscient raccoon.

Wikcanken created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wikcanken, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wikcanken, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Wikcanken's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Wikcanken's Holy Commandments

1. Put Wikcanken first in all things.

2. Never hop near mites.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.