Sawtiffab Bitmisgud Appbidfasomtgon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, cheerful dugong.

Sawtiffab Bitmisgud Appbidfasomtgon created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawtiffab Bitmisgud Appbidfasomtgon, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sawtiffab Bitmisgud Appbidfasomtgon, he will turn you into a duck.

Sawtiffab Bitmisgud Appbidfasomtgon's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Sawtiffab Bitmisgud Appbidfasomtgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near squirrels.

2. Never mention cats.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never feed onions to pigs while wearing jumpers.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing mauve hats and balancing three platinum spheres on your arms.