Arppopgonwotdunmon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic badger.

Arppopgonwotdunmon created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arppopgonwotdunmon, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arppopgonwotdunmon, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Arppopgonwotdunmon's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Arppopgonwotdunmon's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.