Hitcidfat is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, loving cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hitcidfat created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitcidfat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hitcidfat, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hitcidfat's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Hitcidfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

2. Never chant in the presence of great tits.

3. Never wear black stockings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.