Yakvegstragdamcun is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, kind pig.

Yakvegstragdamcun created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakvegstragdamcun, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yakvegstragdamcun, he will turn you into a hamster.

Yakvegstragdamcun's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Yakvegstragdamcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Do not take Yakvegstragdamcun's name in vain.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Always help sick sheep.

5. Always help aardvarks in need.