Nutfotlarp is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid hippopotamus.

Nutfotlarp created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutfotlarp, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nutfotlarp, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nutfotlarp's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nutfotlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick otters.

2. Do not speak about turnips.

3. Retreat if nine great tits approach from the south.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.