Nurlwatlagdotrakkimwat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-powerful deer.

Nurlwatlagdotrakkimwat created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurlwatlagdotrakkimwat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nurlwatlagdotrakkimwat, it will boil you in a big pot.

Nurlwatlagdotrakkimwat's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Nurlwatlagdotrakkimwat's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.