Tagcemflambelltimvonkfabsat is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, contented manatee.

Tagcemflambelltimvonkfabsat created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagcemflambelltimvonkfabsat, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tagcemflambelltimvonkfabsat, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tagcemflambelltimvonkfabsat's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tagcemflambelltimvonkfabsat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven whales approach from the east.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Always help cats in need.

5. Never hurt mice.