Futvighon is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever raven.

Futvighon created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Futvighon, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Futvighon, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Futvighon's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Futvighon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Put Futvighon first in all things.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never go into white rooms.