Barnrulsin is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, staggering warg.

Barnrulsin created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnrulsin, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Barnrulsin, she will curse you with boils.

Barnrulsin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Barnrulsin's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.