Arfmilvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unjust capybara.

Arfmilvonk created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfmilvonk, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Arfmilvonk, she will turn you into a rat.

Arfmilvonk's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Arfmilvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sharks in need.

2. Arfmilvonk loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Retreat if seven badgers approach from the west.