Dubtipnad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unjust narwhal.

Dubtipnad created the Sun six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubtipnad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dubtipnad, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dubtipnad's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Dubtipnad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never think ill of sick goats.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Do not make images of living things.