Honhunstrag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, fast tortoise.

Honhunstrag created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honhunstrag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Honhunstrag, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Honhunstrag's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Honhunstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Honhunstrag must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Honhunstrag.

5. Never think about chlorophyll.