Arfhimwit is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, proud slug.

Arfhimwit created silver three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfhimwit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arfhimwit, he will not invite you to parties.

Arfhimwit's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Arfhimwit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured ducks.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Worship no other gods but Arfhimwit.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.