Xucknulcan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering otter.

Xucknulcan created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Xucknulcan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucknulcan, he will have a low opinion of you.

Xucknulcan's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Xucknulcan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never eat rice.

3. Never bounce near porpoises.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Do not keep five voles in a large pit.