Sakquafdodwig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, dishonourable warg.

Sakquafdodwig created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Sakquafdodwig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sakquafdodwig, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sakquafdodwig's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Sakquafdodwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sakquafdodwig.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never wear gray hats.

5. Never talk about optics.